¡Con permisito!
In Mexico, courtesy is everything. Whether on a bus, in the Metro, on the street, or in the home of a friend, there are certain formalities that should always be observed lest we be judged as crass and uncultured, as indeed many gringos are.
Above all, we should keep in mind that Mexico is a very conservative country. It’s not conservative in the George W. Bush or the Rush Limbaugh sense, although there is some of that going around these days, but in a way that goes much deeper. Even the most politically enlightened people, the most radical, the most turned on and tuned in, follow certain codes of behavior which in the United States, Great Britain, or Australia might be considered “quaint” or “old fashioned.”First things first. When arriving at the office in the morning, one should never forget to greet everyone in his or her immediate area, as well as everyone he or she passes along the way. It wouldn’t be at all strange in Mexico for one to say “¡Buenos días!” or “¡Hola!” at least 15 times before finally settling down at his or her desk. If for some reason we don’t say hello to everyone, we should make sure to do so at the first opportunity. It would be a big mistake to ask someone to do something if we haven’t previously said Buenos días. It would be almost as annoying and uncouth as sexual harassment. Other ways of greeting people are ¡Qué tal! and ¿Cómo le va? In a less formal tone, we might go with ¡Quiúbole!, ¿Qué pasó?, ¿Cómo estás?, or ¿Qué hay de nuevo? On a similar note, when coming to someone’s house, it’s a good idea to say hello to everyone, including the hired help, and at times especially the hired help. Hardly anyone is more sensitive than a sirvienta, and her feelings should always be taken into consideration. This does not only apply to other people’s sirvientas, but to one’s own as well. They have been known to quit on the spot because someone “les habló golpeado,” which means that someone raised their voices to them. It is possible to say anything, to anyone at all — even if it’s terrible — so long as one does it after saying hello and asking how they are.
We should also never forget to say goodbye when leaving a room. This “goodbye” is not the usual “goodbye” used in English-speaking countries; In Mexico, one must take his or her leave by saying Con permiso. We might even be in an elevator with total strangers, but we should say Con permiso before stepping through the sliding doors. By the way, it is also customary to greet these total strangers when entering the elevator: ¡Qué tal!, ¡Buenas tardes!, and ¡Hola! will do the trick.
Another little formula we should never forget to use is the Muchas gracias, muy amable combination. Whenever asking for any kind of help or service at all, whether this be at a ventanilla (box-office or office window), in an office proper, a store, or on the street, we should always respond with “Muchas gracias, muy amable.” The most formal version of this is “Muchas gracias. Es usted muy amable.” Whether someone gives us directions, rubber-stamps a paper, or simply receives money, we should always take leave of this person with a muchas gracias, muy amable. Anything less would be impolite. And they should answer: “Para servirle.” (“At your service.”)
Courtesy can get extreme in Mexico. When in a supermarket, for example, we can’t just walk up to an employee and ask where the ketchup is. We’d have to do something like this: —Buenos días... Disculpe... ¿Fuera usted tan amable de decirme en qué pasillo está la catsup? (“Good morning… Excuse me… Might you tell me what row the ketchup is in?”) The key here is the word disculpe. One must always excuse him or herself for having interrupted the clerk or the floor sweeper because, in Mexico, courtesy has nothing to do with social status. As a matter of fact, some people theorize that courtesy is a way of maintaining social distances — which can often be brutal — by providing the necessary linguistic padding. It’s not this way in other countries. In Spain, for example, one doesn’t beat around the bush when asking for something, and that’s why Mexicans consider Spaniards to be basically brutish and unrefined.
Take this for example: in Spain, if one asks for a cup of coffee in a restaurant, he or she might say “Sírvame un café.” In México we’d have to take a longer route: “Buenos días. ¿Me trae un café, por favor?”, or worse: “Buenos días. ¿No me trae un café, por favor?” This use of the negative when asking a favor can be definitely exasperating for Europeans: ¿No me pasas el azúcar, por favor? The lack of the imperative should also be noted. One doesn’t go around giving orders in Mexico; one turns things around by asking questions and prefacing the petition with a no. All this is done to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.
Next week we’ll continue talking about courtesy in Mexico. Con su permiso. (Then you’d have to answer: Es propio...)
If you would like to know more about any idiomatic expressions
you may have heard, or about any Spanish-language difficulties,
feel free to contact me at sandrocohen@gmail.com
And you can check out my blog at:
www.sandrocohen.blogspot.com
|
